"This un-retouched photo of us near his woodland lair shows undeniable evidence of the existence of Sasquatch." --Sheriff Joe Apraio (on the right) |
Well, now that Sheriff Joe Arpaio and his anonymous "Cold Case Posse" have given us irrefutable proof that President Obama’s birth certificate is fake, it appears he may have stumbled onto a lucrative new sideline in verifying wingnut myths. (Sheriff Arpaio made it clear this investigation was paid for by private donations.) With that in mind, here are some more headlines we may expect from the good sheriff and his posse in the future:
News flash: Sheriff Joe Arpaio
confirms the existence of Sasquatch.
News flash: Sheriff Joe Arpaio
confirms Apollo Moon missions were fake.
News flash: Sheriff Joe Arpaio uncovers
Roswell alien bodies.
News flash: Sheriff Joe Arpaio proves
Mr. Rogers was a Navy SEAL.
News flash: Sheriff Joe Arpaio has
proof Richard Gere had gerbil in his rectum.
News flash: Sheriff Joe Arpaio proves
Lady Gaga is a hermaphrodite.
Back to the Obama investigation... Gasp! Who would have imagined that a
sheriff accused by the Justice Department of racial profiling, under investigation
for abuses of power, and widely chastised (even by other Republicans) for his
neglect of sex crimes involving children would have found evidence President Obama is not a real American? This man is clearly an impartial
party.
When asked why a local law enforcement
official under fire for racial prejudice, abuse of power and negligence was conducting a
federal level investigation, Sheriff Arpaio replied, “I’m just doing my job.”
Raul Ramos y Sanchez