The grief
over losing a loved one is the price we pay for the joy of having them in our
lives. The most unfortunate souls are those with no one to mourn. My
father-in-law left the world this week, grieved by many. This was a testament
to the life he led.
John G.
Haller, Jr. will not be remembered in history books. But his family and friends
know he left the world around him a better place than he found it. There is nothing
more important any of us can do.
One of six siblings
raised in a small Ohio town during the Great Depression, John’s parents welcomed
their children’s many friends and shared whatever they had. When World War II
came, John answered the call of duty and joined the Marines. After the war,
like so many others, John began his own family. He and his wife Dorothy Lee had
three children within six years.
It’s hard
for us today to realize what it meant to be a parent in the days before credit
cards. John worked a second job as a school bus driver during the holidays to
have enough money for the kids’ Christmas gifts. When he lost his wife to a
sudden illness at 37, John took on the burden of being a single parent without
complaint. He would wait until his youngest child was out of high school before
he remarried. Throughout his life, John’s children and extended family were
always at the center of his life. Decades after the passing of his wife, Dorothy
Lee, John’s in-laws still included him in their family gatherings.
Along with
family, John also valued friends. He retired from GM after more than twenty
years and joined many of his fellow workers in a Florida community where they
continued their friendship. For many years, this group maintained the ties
formed on the job into retirement – and made new friends along the way.
John came
from a generation whose motto seemed to be: “don’t complain and don’t explain.”
He embraced life with vigor, joy, humor and love. Intellectualizing and gushy
words were not his style. His deeds spoke much more eloquently than words.
Although
hampered by severe arthritis, John improvised ways to get on with life and
lived independently until his last days. At the end of his life, John continued
to show his resolve and strength. To spare others from worry, John did not tell his children
and grandchildren how ill
he had become until it was unavoidable. John donated his body to Wright State School
of Medicine, sparing the family the expense of a burial – and giving tomorrow’s
physicians a chance to learn something that could help others.
John G. Haller, Jr. would
have been 90 in August of this year, a long life that saw many changes in the
world. But John’s character never changed. He led a selfless life, devoted to
family and friends. To all of us who knew him, John leaves a priceless legacy:
an example of a life well lived.
